The Leader

I know that evil clowns from an unknown planet who use toy guns to shoot killer popcorn at people and then turn these stunned victims into cotton candy cocoons that they puncture with a twirly straw to suck out the person’s blood sounds like a brilliant premise, but just because you really like “Killer Klowns From Outer Space” doesn’t mean it’s the greatest movie in the history of cinema.

There is a huge difference between your personal taste (subjectivity) and an unbiased, critical analysis of whether something is good or bad (objectivity).  This is true regardless of what is being critiqued.  The reason I chose film as my example is because this is one of three mediums—the others being music and TV—in which you most commonly blur the line between subjectivity and objectivity.

If you want to say you like the 2003 remake of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” better than the 1974 original, then that’s fine, it means you have shitty taste, in my opinion, and indicates that you are likely very shallow when it comes to film, but it is just your opinion and I’m cool with that. 

If, however, you were to say that the remake is a better film than the original and your only support for this claim is, “Cuz Jessica Biel has nice tits and she gets wet,” then YOU ARE WRONG, and I am not cool with you making that particular statement.

Anyone who objectively looks at those two films can clearly see that the original is superior despite what one’s own personal taste regarding the movies happens to be.  And, if one wanted to argue that the remake is better, he or she better have one hell of a good and well thought out explanation as to why.

Here’s one more example for those of you who still haven’t figured out what I’m talking about: I like “Citizen Kane,” but I enjoy “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein” even more.  This doesn’t mean I think “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein” is a better film; I just like it more.  I can objectively discern, despite my personal preference, that “Citizen Kane” is obviously the better movie. 

I don’t know why you people have such a difficult time separating subjectivity and objectivity.  One reason might be that you are so cinematically challenged that you are incapable of objectively critiquing a film.  Unfortunately, this does not stop most of you because almost everyone seems to think they are super brilliant expert geniuses when it comes to movies, music and TV and your opinion is just as good as anyone else’s regardless of how much more knowledge and more extensive of a frame of reference they may have.  That, however, is fodder for a letter of its own.

Somewhat peeved,

Max Neibaur

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